...You know your horse's registration number by heart, but struggle to remember your own phone number.
...You say "whoa" to stop your dog or kids.
...You send/receive cards and letters addressed to/from your horse.
...Your vet and farrier are on speed dial, while your mother's phone number is written down somewhere on the back of an old phone book.
...You worry endlessly about your horses diet and vitamin supplements, while you live on McDonalds and Little Debbie snack cakes.
...You've seriously considered listing equines on your 1040 as dependents.
...Hay hauling and/or trailer pulling capacity is your major concern when purchasing a vehicle.
...Your dream home includes a pasture and is surrounded by miles and miles of unpaved roads.
...You think the guys who came up with the Budweiser Clydesdale football commercials should get some sort of Nobel Prize.
...You get confused when horses get switched between shots in a movie. You're trying to figure out how and why the rider switched from a sorrel Arabian cross mare with no markings to a sorrel gelding with a star who's a hand taller and 200# heavier. Everyone else in the theater just sees a guy riding a red horse.
...You catch yourself saying "Easy there boy!" when your automobile runs rough on a cold morning.
...You think hanging should be reinstated for people who throw bottles into horse pastures.
...You come home to find your wife wearing tall black boots and spurs, holding a whip, and all it means to you is that the State Line Tack shipment came in.
...You think the lack of coverage of Equestrian events is why TV networks are losing ground to cable and DSS programming.
...You have so many old horse magazines that it would take more than one trip with the dually to haul them to be recycled. (Which you will never do.)
...The sight of dust on your saddle seat causes you to feel deeply ashamed.
...Every vehicle you own has a halter & lead behind the seat "just in case of emergency".
Back to Issue #2 Index.